PHOTOS Pexels/Shvets; Pexels/Cottonbro
By Dr. Larry Culliford
My pursuit to understand and experience supreme mental health and wellbeing was a path with twists, turns, surprises, and breakthroughs through decades of studying and practicing Western medicine and psychiatry and Eastern health and spirituality. There were surprises and breakthroughs on this quest. Now retired, I get to share what I understand and experience.
Western paradoxes
I studied medicine at Cambridge University, first learning about the healthy body, then what went wrong (pathology). I later trained in psychiatry, which took the opposite approach: We were taught first about various psychiatric diagnoses, and that mental health was simply equated with the absence of symptoms. Instinct told me that mental health was much more than that.
After qualifying as a doctor, I moved to New Zealand and then Australia to work as a GP and train to be a psychiatrist. Then an unanticipated opportunity arose to study with Tibetan monks.
Spirituality’s role
Raised in the Anglican tradition, I was positively inclined towards religion in my teen years. While I stopped attending services upon leaving school, some echo of Christian spirituality stayed with me.
It was in Melbourne, Australia, about 1980, that I had the opportunity to study with Tibetan monks, who taught me how to meditate and about Buddhism – particularly Buddhist psychology, which has a distinctively spiritual component. This gave me the idea that health has a spiritual dimension, and that physical, psychological, social and spiritual health are seamlessly inter-related.
If we think of spirituality as where the deeply personal meets the universal, as that which gives us meaning, a sense of belonging and purpose, then obviously it must be a vital aspect of supreme mental health. This was an important clue in my pursuit.
The cycle of pain and healing
Another breakthrough came with the recognition that people tend to grow by facing and weathering adversity, rather than by trying to avoid or suppress it, or by distracting themselves from it.
This insight is a direct challenge to Western psychiatry that seeks to diminish or abolish pain and suffering. And, it’s an approach that ignores the possibility of a natural process of emotional healing comparable to the biological process of wound healing. Nature heals, while doctors and nurses assist.
This was a significant aspect to the holistic understanding I was forming. In time I developed a comprehensive system (see image below) involving a spectrum of paired painful and pain-free emotions to explain human responses to loss and the threat of loss, that lead to healing and personal growth in terms of resilience, compassion, wisdom, and maturity.
Spectrum of paired emotions from “Happy as Larry” book, page 479. Copyright Larry Culliford.
Moving beyond one’s self
The next important breakthrough in my understanding of mental health and wellbeing involved stages of personal development from self-interest towards altruism. A key first step involves thinking independently and taking responsibility for one’s intentions, thoughts, words and actions, rather than seeking conformity within a group culture, such as that dominated by the prevailing materialist worldview that we are simply physical machines.
Another significant move involves the experience of unity; feeling and knowing oneself to be intimately connected to the sacred cosmic whole. This experience, however fleeting, heralds the adoption of values like kindness, honesty, humility, tolerance, gratitude, forgiveness, patience, courage, and hope – all of which are undeniable parameters of supreme mental health and wellbeing, as are joy, inner peace, happiness, and contentment.
First-hand experience
I have had experiences of sublime unity like this myself. One happened when I was 26 years old and visited my grandfather, who had lung cancer, in the hospital. He had just received treatment for a chest infection, yet was cheerful and looked surprisingly well. As I was leaving, intending to visit the next day, he smiled broadly, held up the four fingers of his right hand, and said, “See you in four years!”
What did he mean? Had I only four more years to live?
Grandad died peacefully two hours later.
As the four-year mark approached, I was increasingly deeply concerned about love, life and death. Then I had a powerful dream. Reflecting on it the following morning led to a breakthrough in which I felt overwhelmed by love, not only the unconditional love of a grandparent — his essence lodged blissfully forever in my heart — but also some form of cosmic love, flooding my consciousness, bringing joy, serenity and an incontrovertible awareness of a seamless connection to everyone (past, present and to come), despite any and all apparent differences; to all living creatures; to the fabric of the planet; and to the entire universe.
For days, I was in a state of grace, fully attuned to the wisdom afforded by a profound epiphany that all was sacred, inviolable, and to the logic that bringing harm to anyone or anything, even intending such harm, inevitably has destructive consequences for the actor. Likewise, intending and doing good, helping others, caring for the natural world, and loving God and all creation bring benefits aplenty. Buddhists call it ‘karma.’ As the Bible says, “We reap whatever we sow.”
Spiritual crisis resolved
Mahabodhi Temple in India. PHOTO Pexels/Nancy
A similar experience occurred some years later. On a group pilgrimage tour of India, visiting holy sites from different religions, I visited Bodh Gaya where, at the Mahabodhi Temple, a sign reads: “Place of Enlightenment. Prince Siddartha attained Buddhahood in 623BC on the Full Moon day sitting under this Bodhi tree.”
At the time, I felt myself to be at a religious and spiritual crossroads, attracted to both Buddhism and Christianity, thinking I should probably favor one over the other… But which?
From the gate of the compound, you can see the tall, solid temple building tapering into the sky, and glimpse also the stupendous ancient tree close by, festooned with colorful prayer flags and bunting. Not wanting to hurry my approach, I chose slowly to stroll the site’s outer pathway, walking past the tree, around and around. Approaching the temple building eventually, I was still hesitant, watching as people came and went.
When I finally entered the surprisingly small, windowless temple chamber, a couple of saffron-robed monks sitting in the dimness were reciting gathas, verses from Buddhist scripture. They were chanting sonorously before a gold-encrusted standing Buddha figure. In front of me, another monk was repeatedly prostrating himself. Uncertain, I knelt with my body upright, as if at prayer in church; but, moments later, I felt forced forward so that my elbows, hands and forehead were soon kissing the cold ground. Feeling more like a caress than a shove, it was painlessly effective at having me bow humbly into a posture of obeisance.
Immediately, before I had time to wonder who or what I was honoring, I felt the two opposing aspects of my mind uniting — my entire being suddenly felt as if it had come together, as if all its parts were locking neatly into place — so that I suddenly felt whole, healed and elated. There was no longer any either/or to contend with, no Christian or Buddhist identity choice. There was just me, in the enveloping presence of a loving God, a loving universe. The apparent dichotomy vanished, my spiritual crisis had been fully resolved in a moment.
Not long after this experience, when the rest of the group joined me, I was sitting on a bench under the great tree, beaming contentedly at everything and everyone, a blissful smile on my face that did not leave it for days.
I carry that smile with me still.
Dr. Larry Culliford is a retired physician and psychiatrist who has authored several books, including “The Psychology of Spirituality,” “The Big Book of Wisdom,” and autobiography “Happy as Larry.” He founded The World Wide Wave of Wisdom as a resource for seekers and his blog, “Spiritual Wisdom for Secular Times,” is published on PsychologyToday.com. Culliford, a patron of the mental health charity Being Alongside, lives in West Sussex, UK.
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