A profound encounter with psilocybin at age 70 reshaped mine
IMAGE by Pexels/Tara Winstead
By Elisabeth Carrio
Before a transformative experience with psilocybin in May 2022, my life, while intellectually rich, was marked by an enduring sense of restlessness and a search for deeper meaning. I had spent decades working internationally in finance and consultancy, driven by an intense curiosity about diverse cultures and human behavior, yet internally, I often felt disconnected and somewhat unfulfilled. This sense of disconnection propelled me toward deeper exploration into spirituality and psychology, eventually leading me to Transpersonal Psychology and Alef Trust.
Transpersonal Psychology is a branch of psychology that integrates the spiritual and transcendent aspects of the human experience within the framework of modern psychology. It addresses phenomena such as spiritual awakening, altered states of consciousness, mystical experiences, and practices designed for personal growth beyond the individual ego. Alef Trust, affiliated with Liverpool John Moores University in the UK, specialises in delivering education that bridges contemporary psychology, spirituality, and consciousness studies.
It was during my studies that tried psilocybin, a naturally occurring psychedelic found in certain mushrooms. It got the moniker “magic mushrooms” decades ago, and now there’s a great deal of medical research demonstrating its positive effects for those living with PTSD.
My own profound encounter with psilocybin demonstrated the spiritual effect: It was a pivotal moment that reshaped my life’s purpose.
This experience opened me to a dimension of healing previously unknown and initiated a transformative two-year journey to redefine myself and my life’s direction at the age of 70.
During the psychedelic journey, I plunged into what Prof. Chris Bache, who studies psychedelic use within psychology, vividly describes as the “Ocean of Pain.” Within this vast sea, I witnessed ancestral wounds—generations of trauma, conflict, and sorrow. I felt the suffering of my forebears, the tragedies they endured, and the pain inflicted upon others.
This intense, visceral recognition demonstrated that pain and suffering are not isolated experiences, but a shared human legacy transmitted across generations. Confronting this inherited suffering led me to a profound act of reconciliation. Deep within my consciousness, I offered heartfelt apologies to those hurt by my ancestors’ actions, a powerful step toward healing both myself and the broader web of relationships to which we are all connected.
Emerging from this pain, I experienced a wave of transcendent love—pure, unconditional, and expansive. This moment embodied Viktor Frankl’s insight that understanding the meaning behind suffering is essential to overcoming it. Clearly, my role was to transform ancestral suffering into something meaningful and healing. This psychedelic experience became a rite of passage, prompting me to question, “What is my role now, at this age and stage in my life?”
For two years following this awakening, I deeply explored this question. I traveled from France first to the United States, driven by a powerful intuition toward California where I lived one year, hoping to find my community among fellow seekers and scholars in Transpersonal and Somatic Psychology. I felt drawn to a place where spirituality and neuroscience converge—a space where deep inner wisdom and scientific inquiry coexist.
My journey then took me to Spain, the land of my ancestors, where I sought to reconnect with my roots. Walking through villages and landscapes that shaped my ancestors’ lives enabled me to physically integrate emotional and spiritual insights from my psychedelic experience. I felt anchored by belonging to a lineage of survivors, dreamers, and creators who navigated their pain and trauma, forging paths of resilience.
This expatriation in retirement was more than geographic relocation; it represented a profound psychological and spiritual transition, echoing the concept of gerotranscendence described by Lars Tornstam. Gerotranscendence suggests that aging can prompt a shift from materialistic, rational worldviews to more cosmic, transcendent perspectives. Expatriation provided a powerful catalyst for such transformation, deepening my self-awareness and prompting reevaluation of my previously held beliefs and values.
PHOTO Pexels/Ruvim
In new cultural environments, I experienced an identity rebirth. Immersion in diverse societies allowed me to form new social bonds and create multicultural communities, becoming a part of what Alfred Adler, the Austrian medical doctor and psychotherapist, calls “multiculturalism,” transcending rigid cultural identities. The expatriate community became my new “family,” offering a deep sense of belonging and interconnectedness that significantly enhanced my well-being and freedom. This shift profoundly reshaped my understanding of self and the world around me.
Returning from these pilgrimages, my vision crystallized: Create the Center for Studies and Research in Transpersonal Psychology, a space where people could explore the integration of psychological, spiritual, and somatic dimensions of healing and personal growth. My vision for this center bridges ancient wisdom and modern science, offering transformative tools empowering individuals to heal ingrained wounds and live more conscious, purposeful lives.
Today I stand with a renewed sense of purpose and interconnectedness, embracing resilience not merely as survival but as a creative, spiritual practice. My experience underscores the transformative potential of retirement, challenging conventional narratives about aging as decline. Instead, this phase can be one of significant personal and spiritual development, active engagement, and meaningful contributions.
Life, I now understand, is a continuous quest for meaning — a journey of rites of passage, reconciliation of past wounds, and opportunities to create positive futures. My psychedelic awakening reinforced our profound interconnectedness, affirming that individual healing contributes to collective evolution. It is never too late to redefine our life’s purpose.
About the Author
Elisabeth Carrio holds diplomas in Finance, Economy, Politics, and an MSc (with distinction) in Consciousness, Spirituality, & Transpersonal Psychology from Liverpool John Moores University via Alef Trust. Originally from Algeria, Elisabeth moved to France post-war and later worked internationally for the European Commission and United Nations. She now specialises in coaching and transpersonal psychology, supporting individual and organizational transformation. Elisabeth has authored several books and essays on existential and transpersonal psychology, leadership, and spirituality.
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